This is a list of actionable self-coaching tips that you can use to turn your day around, right now, and hit pause on that awful bully in your brain.
Don’t miss the printable checklist at the end!
Here’s a quick list of the ten self-coaching tips…
Now, let’s dive in and learn how to do each one…
Think of 3 things that went well yesterday
The good things can be anything, large or small.
- I stopped working at 5p when I said I would.
- That call went really well.
- The weather was perfect — 73 and sunny.
The point is training your brain to look for the positive, even though it has evolved to scan your world for danger and things going wrong.
Using baby steps, you can break the negative thought loops that keep you stressed and overwhelmed.
Here’s another way to do that…
Ask yourself good questions
Often we ask ourselves terrible questions, like:
- Why am I such a moron?
- Why is it taking me so long to succeed?
- Why can’t I lose weight?
- Why did I SAY that?
Give your mind a little break from all the gnarly self-talk and judgment of others, to ask yourself much more useful questions, like:
- What’s one baby step I could take today to be more healthy?
- What can I do today to help my clients solve their biggest problem?
- If I’m in that situation again, how could I handle it differently?
- What do I have to feel calm and happy about today?
Name 3 things you are grateful for
This is the grandmama of all self-coaching.
Try this for a few days and feel your little burned-out, shriveled heart start to blossom.
Mix it up with gratitudes large and small:
- for a roof over your head
- for the beauty and bounty of Nature
- for love in your life in any form
- for the sweetness of watermelon
- for basic mental health
Spend some time in nature
Let Mother Nature work her magic, even if it’s just 15 minutes.
Breath some fresh air. Get some sun or rain or wind on your face.
Get your hands in the dirt, talk a walk, lay on the grass, jump in a lake.
Name 5 good things about yourself
This is another excellent way to counteract the way we women spend so much time trash talking ourselves. Here are some of mine.
- I’m a good organizer.
- I’m thoughtful most of the time.
- I love my name.
- I’m a good writer
- I’m a seriously skilled world traveler
This is a great little exercise to do with someone else, too. Make it a game to get to 50 things each.
Take turns with a friend naming good things about yourselves. If you get stuck, ask “and what else?”
Whether you do it alone or with someone else, it will feel weird and uncomfortable. Just let it be a little hard and keep going… you won’t regret it, I promise!
Connect with someone you care about
Call someone you haven’t talked to in a while that makes you laugh.
On your deathbed, you won’t regret time you spent connecting to loved ones. You will regret spending too much time working.
So pick up the phone and offer your soul some comfort with a heart connection.
Eat the biggest frog first
You likely feel like there’s too much to do and not enough time to do it.
A great way to deal with this is to decide the one most important thing that will make today a success…
“If I do this one thing today, I can call the day a win.”
Then do that thing first in the day.
Often, it’s not something you really want to do…
- a slightly difficult call
- an article you need to write
- a problem you need to troubleshoot and solve
So usually you put it off a little — do a few emails, knock out a few quick things off your list. Then the day progresses and you feel less and less like doing the one thing. You feel more and more pressured. Somehow the day passes and the thing never gets done.
So choose to commit to doing the one important thing on your list the very first thing. It helps if you decide what the thing will be the day before, and if you make a concrete plan in your mind.
“Tomorrow after breakfast, I’m going to sit down at my desk with a cup of coffee, not open my email, and write 3 pages of that article by noon.”
When you do this, the rest of the day is gravy! All day you think, “I already did the thing! 🌟”
Give it a try — it can be a real game changer!
Do something kind
His Holiness the Dalai Lama often talks about “selfish altruism,” in which you help other people be happy and make your own self happy at the same time.
So give yourself the gift of happiness today by doing one small kindness to someone else…
- make a call
- give someone a compliment
- do some shopping for someone who is sick
- make a donation to a local shelter or food bank
And feel the happiness rise in you.
Connect with your body
Get in your body, even if it is just for a few minutes:
- dance it out in the kitchen
- do a beginner yoga video of Yoga with Adrienne
- take a hot bath
- take a walk
- stretch for five minutes on a computer break
- light a smell-good candle
- take a power nap
- do a few squats while you wait for your tea water to boil
Choose better mind food
You know your addiction to the phone and iPad makes you feel crappy.
But it seems impossible to fight it.
You can take a baby step by choosing something fun and motivational rather than the downer, angry news.
You can pick something that will raise you up rather than flipping through Instagram posts that make you hate your life.
And you can choose inspiration over junk food TikToks and YouTube videos.
I challenge you not to be motivated by this guy…
Or get inspired by…
There is so much good out there on the Internet. Take a baby step to wellness by making that tiny extra effort to look for the good!
Here’s Your Self-Coaching Checklist!
That’s it for my top 10 self-coaching tips for you to stress less and feel better.
If you like learning self-coaching for your brain, check out my self-coaching course. You can find it here.
Here’s a printable Self-Coaching Checklist for you to help keep you on track as you feel better today and every day. 💕 (Just click on the download button below.)